Remembering why we are here

We are here to support Dad

We are here to remember Mom

We are here to support each other

We are here to humbly ask you to remember Mom and support Dad

And on this Sunday morning ...

We are here because God has a purpose for us in this all, and as we seek His Face and we choose to praise and thank Him for the small mercies and trust in Him with the continued struggles.

It was a productive day in finalizing some plans for Mom's memorial. Dad again had a restless night. He was finally more alert again, with no further chest pain. The plan is still to transfer him to the burn ward on Monday. He remains frustrated at all the moving he needs to do as it tasks his energy. He was awake to recognize visitors at the window today. A couple of his oldest brother's nephews stopped by, from Nova Scotia and Regina. It seems as if some of his frustration arises from not being able to go out and speak to visitors face to face. There continues to be a fine balance between getting enough pain medication so he can tolerate the moving and being awake enough to communicate. As my brother left him this evening he was again peaceful  and we ask God for a restful sleep for him.

Thanks again for your prayers and we thank God for the chance to be able to communicate with Dad.  

We are reminded of peace tonight!

Last night was an interesting night for Dad,  he must have complained of pain in his chest or something was going on in his heart rhythm because they had check the levels of his heart enzymes and they were elevated. There was no evidence of heart damage on his cardiogram just in the blood work. We are reminded of peace as a sister said when she saw him this morning he was sleeping in a relaxed manner when she read devotions in his room.

 In his visits with most of us sisters, Dad continued to not speak much during the day. Even though he was sometimes awake he would just squeeze our hands, he perked up when told that the Saskatchewan conference had a time of prayer for him and his family. Some of us just had a quiet time of weeping with him. Dad is at peace with God his maker, he is ready to put a hand on our shoulder to comfort. Dad appreciates the pictures of Mom and the family on his wall in his room and spent a lot of time looking at the wall. We continue to leave God in control every night when we go to rest. God is our peace and it is in Him we trust.

As we make final preparations for Mom's memorial pray that we have wisdom and a sense of knowing God's peace even in this time. Thanks for your continued support and prayers.

It is tough to talk to a sleepy man

For the past two days Dad has been very sleepy. We had gotten used to him being able to talk and carry on more conversations. Even when his sister from Alberta arrived, he waved a bit with his hand but fell asleep quickly after again. We know they were giving him more pain meds so he could move around more, but he seems extra sleepy. It was interesting one us of commented maybe it was just because his body was healing. When we have been through a tough time we often are more sleepy. There is talk of his moving to the burn unit as early as Monday which makes it nearly a month that he spent in SICU. We praise God for his continued care and healing of Dad's injuries.

What has made it a bit hard is not being able to discuss Dad's wishes for Mom's Memorial with him. We were hoping to get more input from him so he could feel he was more a part of it. Pray for continued healing for Dad and ask God for wisdom for all of us as we prepare to share with you all, the life of our Mom who's life touched so many with her care and service.

Continued strength!!

God is here giving us strength moment by moment. We are grateful for Dad's continued physio and movement being encouraged. He is getting more pain meds and struggles when he needs to rest on his right side with the arthritic hip and skin donor site. He gets a chance to sit in a special chair for a couple of hours. He gets easily tired; so continued strength for this day and each day forward would be our prayer for Dad.

So emotional strength is needed for all of us as we approach and prepare for Mom's memorial. One begins to understand all the details and planning involved in preparing for the celebration of the life of Mom. As we prepare we share memories, as we look at pictures we share stories and all of those activities drain some emotional strength when we can't be sharing them with Dad in a meaningful way. 

Praising the Lord for the progress being made.

This morning when a sister went in to be with Dad, he recognized the nurse that was about to come on shift. "Oh foy", is what Dad said, he recognized that this was a nurse that made him move and had rolled him over on his sides which can be uncomfortable on his burned shoulders as well as his arthritic hips.

Well move Wally did all day, not only rolled over on his sides, but also moved to a different room (?bigger) as his lift was broken in his old room still in SICU. But he also got to sit in a chair for 20-40 minutes depends on who you talk to.  Slowly the extra tubes are coming out. So later in the day Wally was sleepy and dozing a lot by the end of the day.

Pray for continued healing of his donor skin site, and pain control as he begins to move. When asked this morning what would be a personal prayer request, he was wondering about his appetite, but when reminded that he had a feeding tube he began to understand why the appetite had not returned. 

On Mom's Memorial, three of us were able to go to Boissevain to put a notice in the Boissevain Recorder, as well as retrieve some of the found pictures from the house. We were able to speak to Pastor Wes and a representative from the funeral home about the memorial. It was interesting to see whose lives Wally (Dad) and Martha (Mom) have touched. Even the funeral representative had previously worked with our niece Caitlyn and been a recipient of some of Mom's great baking. Later we made a visit to an aunt on Dad's side who was very concerned about her brother and not having the internet was grateful for our information.

We have enclosed scans of found pictures for you to play. Where's Wally? And Missing Martha? 

Where's Wally? (Brandon Agriculture Graduation)

Missing Martha (Mom with her three sisters and Oma Hamm, guess who is who?)

St. Patrick's Day News

In general Dad had a busy successful day that made him tired. When we got there he had sat way up in his bed so the nurse with the physio got him to dangle his feet over the edge of the bed. We were told that the few seconds that he sat up he was using his abdominal muscles quite well.

God has answered some more of our prayers. The skin graft that Dad had is looking like there is a 80-90% "take", the doctor (who is one of the best burn plastic surgeon's in Canada) would have thought the surgery successful with a 50% "take", so that is great!! Another success story according to the doctor is the fact that after 3 weeks those burns remain free of infection! We need to be vigilant for a while longer with the reverse isolation and the limiting of visitors into his room but the doctor was really pleased with the fact that he remains infection free so far.

On the prayer for Dad side, a speedier healing of the site where the donor skin was removed. Also Dad will need continued strength as he is begins to move around a bit more. He was tired at the end of the day and feeling some discomfort in his chest. He fell asleep easily. Knowing Dad's history we keep asking God that His will be done and enjoy all the times that God keeps giving us with Dad.

After that we had some time to chat with him, when we mentioned that it was St Patrick's Day he commented that a good friend of Mom's and support during some of her tough times was Irish. Dad is making a lot of lucid connections which is great to see. Pray that he continues to become less confused so we can include his input in the remembering of Mom next week.

Looking forward today!

Good day with Dad today. He slept in till noon after the restless night.  His back is getting itchy (annoying but a good sign 'cause that means there is healing). He was able to have water as much as he wants to drink today with ice chips. (of course he was asking the nurse for chocolate milk instead, LOL) There are still some numbers out of kilter in his blood work but it was so great to share in some lucid moments with him.

Brother Pete and I (Ruth) got to visit from 430 to nearly 7 pm where Dad was making a lot more sense!!! It was refreshing, his timelines were a bit out of whack, (Margaret: He thought he was coming to stay at your place tomorrow already and Dr Nell was going to be taking care of him there.) but it was amazing how much he was remembering. Pray for a great sleep tonight so he can have a good day tomorrow. There will be another major dressing change with his primary surgeon and with some more "conscious sedation" type pain and amnesiacs meds. He will spend a long time lying on his side with his head lowered a bit more. Just praying he tolerates this well. Also that the next downhill portion of this healing story is not such a stomach turning steep hill down on the roller coster ride we have been on so far. It was hard to leave him there tonight with no one in the hotel anymore. We are trusting the SICU staff and they are doing a great job of working with our very determined Dad. And even more we are trusting God to be there with Dad watching over and being present with him by the Holy Spirit. Praying to the Great Healer who continues to work amazing things in our Dad's life.

We continue to make plans for the memorial, a time to remember Mom. We so look forward to meeting many of you and having a time to remember Mom and the heritage she gave us. Our Heritage, as a sister shared in the poem at the beginning of this blog. 

This is the Day the Lord has made.

After a restful night for us here at the hospital hotel, it was hard to hear of Dad's restless night.  It was not due to his physical health, but due to the fact that he wants to be out of that room.  The road ahead is still very long.  Please pray for his understanding of his situation and God's comfort for the many days...and nights ahead.  

So, this Sunday morning we pray and continually turn our own fears and frustrations over to God. Praise and Worship music is playing, the sun is shining and Manitoba is supposed to warm up today.  This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Bon Voyage to Marg, Caitlyn, Amy, Tasha and friend Irene Reimer.  Enjoy the sun and God's creation.

God gave us a day of hope.

Dad continues to amaze us with his tenacity and God's continued healing in his life so far.

More and more Dad seems to remember things, and physically he didn't need to be re-intubated to help his breathing which is a praise the Lord item. He continues to enjoy reading the "Rejoice" every morning and some of us have been able to pray for the whole list of family with him just like mom would do. 

So we are able to say it was a good day. We know they will not all be these kinds of days and we are praising God for what He in His grace and mercy provide for us.

Mom's Memorial

Many have been patiently waiting. Although many of our posts have been about Dad and his condition we have not forgotten another part of this whole journey.

We want to remember Mom, Martha, sister, aunt, and just an all around friend to many, grandma and substitute grandmother for many more. The Mom part of the journey has been hard to concentrate on during the intense times with Dad. And as he remains in critical but "stable" condition we will have the memorial for Mom without his presence at the service (we are working on the feasibility of a live feed into his hospital room). Thank you for your patience in waiting for this day. So for those of you who wish to join us in celebrating Mom (Martha Kroeker)'s life, please come to the Whitewater Mennonite Church, in Boissevain, Manitoba on Wednesday, March 26th @ 1 pm. 

It's a new morning

By the way, this is Renie/Irene.  The sun is shining on another cold Manitoba spring morning.  Dad dozzed on and off last night and we were not sure how much he slept.  However, when ask by the morning nurse "How did you sleep?" he replied "pretty good."  We'll take that.  His breathing continues to be a bit of a concern as his rate is fast, but he is not struggling to breathe and that is good.  In case you  hadn't noticed... that ventilator/breathing tube is a source of concern for us all and the chance that it may be put back in keeps us a bit on edge.  So here's some prayer requests: 

Trust - that we would believe deep in our souls that Dad belongs first and foremost to God and that God is faithful and able to complete the work that He began in him.

God's grace - that we would accept it and offer it to ourselves and to others.

Salvation - that we would rest in the work of our Saviour.  He will carry us through.

Thanks

God answered continued.

God answered our earlier prayers in a really unique way, the details not to be disclosed here but it was amazing. Keep being reminded that we are not in this journey alone!

Woke up this morning to realize Dad had had a restless night again. It was discouraging to see how frustrated Dad was with things. But then our claustrophobic Dad was never meant to be stuck in a small room for 2 1/2 weeks at a time. What can we expect? By 3pm they took out his tube again but because his heart went into irregular rhythm and his breathing was not as good as they thought they spoke of maybe again putting the breathing tube back in. Talk about 1 step forward and 2 steps back all in the span of a few hours. We do know this SICU course would not be a smooth linear line to being healed but this was ridiculous for some us with more reactive emotions. A very realistic picture that one of the doctors gave was of a wavy line going up to success with a great big messy circular scribbles in the middle of the line and we surely had a messy scribble today!

But on the positive note we were able to see Dad's breathing calm down, and he is interacting well with his nurse. Growling for more water to drink and when we say " you can close your eyes to rest it's okay" he replies sort of irritably,  " I know I can if I want to" it made us chuckle and the fact that he wants to get up and move is a good sign. He can still remember that the Jacobs team on the curling bonspiel is from Sault St Marie and which team "Martin" or "Stoughton" he preferred LOL.

To coin the phrase a nurse used on Mom after her valve surgery she is "adorably" confused, it is something that we just might have to apply to Dad right now too. He really had a good chuckle when Mom had her ICU'itis after 2 days in ICU, well Dad is going on 2 1/2 weeks in SICU, so can't expect too much from Dad right now.

Speaking of Mom we had a good day of looking at some old pictures that we as kids had collected, as we are reminded of fun times with her as well, or maybe it was just laughing at old clothing and hair styles. 

It was a day of ups and downs and all arounds. But through it all God remains in control and with us; answering our prayers in ways we can never understand.

God answered

Will give more of an update later today.

Just need prayer for all of us right now!

For those of you who are reading right now. 

Just pray right now, can't say why but just pray. We are okay just need prayer.

Someone prayed for rest!

Although it was a two steps back ward beginning of the day early this morning, it has been a good 1/2 step back up the other side of the new mountain again. As one sister said " it felt like the train / rollercoaster was out of control last night as Dad's breathing became so rapid and labored he could not talk. We had spent so much time away from his side yesterday, as they were doing procedures. But God is still the conductor of this train and today God has blessed us and I think Dad too with some much needed rest. His temperature is slowly going down again, his fluid levels are becoming more balanced again, and for most of the day we were able to be with him while he was sleeping and appeared to be resting. He was the most peaceful we have seen in the whole time in SICU. Yeah he is sedated and sleeping but he was not fighting the tubes and his forehead was not as furrowed as it had been when he was first intubated. Pray for continued healing for Dad. We know we are here for a while yet. But more importantly we know that God is here with us.

Thanks also as you pray as we make decisions about Mom's memorial. God remains good and in control. 

Renewed Strength

Isaiah 41:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

10 fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Like the verse in Isaiah 40 and in Isaiah 41, God will up hold us giving Dad physical strength to heal.

Reminded that God will also give us emotional strength when that is failing.

Dad was re-intubated last night with increased work of breathing. As well as a high temperature. The SICU roller coaster went down another hill.

We covet your prayers as we are reminded to draw on God's unlimited emotional and physical strength.

The Work of Breathing Increased

As you can tell by the time of my post things are again tough and we are needing to depend on a tough God.

It was mentioned in the last post that Dad's work of breathing had increased. Lisa and Jo who had never been able talk to Dad yet got to go in after the dressing change and Dad was really struggling with his breathing. He also had a temperature. He was breathing too fast to talk to them. Then he was given 2 hours to rest that turned into a further 4 hours as we waited in the waiting room again. The day nurse gave us a report at 8pm. But we still were waiting till 10 pm not a good sign. When we got in they were talking about re-intubation. Pete is in there right now with him.  

Small mercies, we have rebooked the hotel. They gave us the same rate for the upgraded room, just reversed the check out. 

We have set the date for Mom's funeral/memorial/celebration of a life well lived. I will announce it on the blog when we have a time. 

Ps 55:22. Give your burdens to the Lord and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

As we cling to the tracks God has set us on we want to leave those things we shouldn't hang on to in the baggage car, Dad is in your hand tonight.

Update on the Dressing Change

Looking good so far, most of the graft site looks like it is sticking.  Not all is visible with the donor skin but more than the 50% is looking viable. We are cautiously optimistic for good news. 

Dad slept better for longer periods of time last night. But Dad's work of breathing is a concern.

We are grateful for the hotel room that we have been able to use the past two weeks next to the hospital. 

Now comes some serious planning for the memorial for Mom.  

We know some may be getting tired but we do continue to covet any prayers you can offer in our behalf. 

Everyday We Get Strength for the Day

After a quiet morning Dad was sat up way higher in bed today. The tube remains out yeah. Slowly more and more IV's and lines are being removed. Dad remains sometimes confused and very tired by the evening. They want to get him up in a chair and somewhat mobile as soon as possible. 

Tomorrow there will be a major dressing change to see how much of the skin graft "took". So if  you keep him in your prayers thanks so much.

So far God has done more than we could have expected. When I think back some of us were just seeing Dad for the first time, in the SICU two weeks ago. 

It has been two weeks and we are still recovering and processing and getting used to the train ride through the wilderness God has put us all on. We know God is faithful and will be riding with us. Help us to remember He really is the driver of the train and that we can look to Him as the engineer as well as creator of the tracks the train is following. Help us to ask Him the appropriate questions as we continue to move through the next weeks and months.

Renewal of Strength

“My way is hidden from the Lord,
    and my right is disregarded by my God”?
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.
    

This is what we are praying for Dad today. He is tired. 

Thanks for your continued prayers as we wait with our Dad to get better and continue to reorder our lives without the physical presence of our Mom.